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Text messages, jokes, and quotes for Pinoy texters

Archive for the ‘Gloria jokes’


What did Arroyo say…?

Question: What did President Arroyo say when Joey Salceda informed her of his plan to defect to LP?

Answer: “Bitch!”

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My favorite politician

Dear God, so far this year you’ve taken my favorite singer Michael Jackson, my favorite actor Patrick Swayze my favorite actress Farah Fawcett. Just 2 let you know… My favorite politician is Ate Gloria po.

SONA at fairy tale

Ano ang kaibahan ng FAIRY TALE sa STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS?

Ang Fairy Tale ay kwentong di totoo na may dwende. Ang SONA ay may dwende na nagkukuwento ng di totoo!

Boobs

Dati, ang boobs ni Putot ganito |_|_|
Kaya nung 1980’s nagpagawa siya ng ganito (*)(*)
Pero nung isang araw, pumutok! (x)(x)
Kaya pinaayos niya dahil hindi na pantay (o)(O)
Naayos na kaya ganito na siya ngayon (oYo)

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Egypt vs Philippines

Egypt only suffered 10 biblical plagues. We have 214: flu, floods, 211 congressmen and one president.

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Obama and Gloria

President Barack Obama finally calls up Malacañang:

OBAMA: May i speak with that small but great Filipina who is the pride of all Filipinos?

GMA: (kinilig) Yes? How are you, Mr President?

OBAMA: Congratulations, Charice! That was a great performance you gave at my inauguration!

Cellphone sa misa

PARI (sermon):
Mga kapatid,
kasalanan natin
ang nagsecelfon
habang me misa.
We must not
disturb others
in prayer.
(nagring cp ni Fr.)
Teka, me message si Lord.

Texting is a way of life

Latest Gloria joke: “Texting is a way of life. I asked the telecoms to cut the cost of messages between networks. They responded. It is now down to 50 centavos.”

Special prayer 4 GMA

SPECIAL PRAYER 4 GMA : ABA Naman GLORIA Puno Ka Na ng GRASYA! Ang YAMAN ng BANSA Ay SUMAIYO Na. Sa HUSAY ni GARCI Naging PEKENG PANGULO Ka! Bukod Kang MANDARAYA sa Babaeng Lahat. PINAGPALA Ring MANGKURAKOT, ASAWA MO’t ANAK. Kaya WALA Ng NATIRA sa AMEN. Pls, pass for our country. .


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